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Are Pageants Even Relevant To The Modern Woman Today?

Feb 11 2021 Leave a Comment

Okay, I drew you in with the title, but the answer is yes. I won’t even beat around the bush or sugar coat it. Yes a million times. I’ll tell you why. When I was thirteen years old, I received a letter in the mail from an organization called National American Miss. It was a pageant for young girls that focused on evening gown, public speaking, community service, and interview as its competition categories. My parents had no idea what to do with the begging pre-teen who was asking to go to the open call, but eventually they gave in.

We packed up the minivan a couple weeks later and headed to the hotel listed on the invitation and entered the hotel ballroom. I don’t even remember what happened that day. I don’t even remember why or how I was mailed that invitation when I had never participated in pageants before. All I remember is the letter, the hotel parking lot, and the moment I put my deposit down to compete for the title of Miss Illinois Jr. Teen.

Fast forward 12 years later, I am a twenty six year old professional. I have competed in numerous pageants growing up, I acted as a coach for my younger sister when she started to compete, and I ending up winning the Miss Illinois Teen title on my fifth and final year of eligibility. Five years!! I was having an out of body experience when they called the winner out of eighty girls that I didn’t even realize they called my name. I was the first ever Miss Lake in the Hills, I won Miss McHenry County and won Best in Speech and Communications at the Miss Illinois pageant with a speech I wrote in my hotel room the night before. My sister began competing and I coached her from not placing at all at a local Miss Chicago pageant to placing First Runner-up at the Miss Illinois Pre-Teen competition. Pageants are a family affair too, my entire family would coordinate their wardrobe with our evening gowns and if I was the most nervous person in the room, my parents were the second. I have traveled all over the country for pageants with my mom and it has become a longstanding girls weekend tradition for us.

So in short, yes, I am big believer on the relevancy of pageants. Here’s why.

“I am a standing advocate for the professional, personal, and purpose driven elements of pageantry that have molded me into the woman I am today.”

The life skills that I learned in pageants have propelled me in my life and set me up for success in a variety of areas of the real world. They have forced me to define and organize my sense of self, advocate for others, win gracefully, lose gracefully, and have fun in between. I’ve learned that zippers have a mind of their own when you’re backstage and need to zip a dress. I have made life long friends with women I have traveled the country with, learned from, and networked with. I have asked myself difficult questions about what I stand for and I have also answered questions about what kind of shoe I would be. (Silly question, but it’s actually a personality based one.)

Professional

A critical element of every pageant is the interview portion. However, it’s not your typical job interview of twenty to thirty minutes or even an hour long. No. The judges have approximately anywhere between one minute (if it’s a round table and you speak to each judge individually) to five minutes if it’s a panel. This means you need to be efficient, communicative, authentic, and inspiring within the span of the time it might take most of us to brush our teeth in the morning. It means there is no time to fumble or ask for a second question or take time to think through things. Your A game is the only option. You spend months preparing accordingly.

Another critical element of the pageant is public speaking. Whether it’s in the form of an on-stage question or a spokesmodel section of the competition, you need to master your stage presence and your articulation when addressing hundreds of people. You usually have a time limit with these as well, so the same challenge of timely and thoughtful communication comes into play at a grander level, especially when addressing societal issues and challenging topics.

There is no job that I can think of that wouldn’t benefit from confidence in the interview room or in a public speaking environment. As pageant girls, we are skilled at commanding the attention of a room and do so with confidence at a very young age. I personally have benefitted from these skills and do not get intimidated by interviews in the workplace.

Personal

When you’re a pageant girl, you’re a competitor. It’s not the fun reality, but the fact of the matter is that there’s one crown and a number of girls vying for it. However, this does not mean you don’t learn how to compete and how to make friends at the same time. I have built lifelong friendships with women I competed with for years. When one of us would win, there was a genuine excitement that her dreams had come true for her because we knew the journey it had taken to get there.

One of my absolute favorite things is watching the little girls who competed at the same time as me grow up to be amazing teenagers and young women. These are girls that have their own charities, foundations, national platforms, honor roll placements, etc. I have even traveled to Miss USA and Miss Universe with friends I met through pageantry, years after we stopped competing. This balance of preparing for the crown, but also enjoying the competition is an incredibly valuable attribute to have in real life. It teaches you grace, humility, and the fact that we should cheer for others until it’s our turn.

Although pageants are an incredibly public event, the bulk of the work is internal and personal. It’s months of practice on your own running through interview questions, defining your brand, eating healthy and working out, deciding what stances you’ll take on societal issues, etc. It’s being honest with yourself, practicing self discipline and self love, and believing that you are worthy of the pursuit of a title. This isn’t always easy and it can sometimes be challenging to think through what you stand for or why you deserve to win, but at the end of the day, it’s incredibly rewarding to have an understanding of why you’re there.

Purpose

I always laugh when people ask how I prepare for a pageant and assume it’s all shopping and dress fittings. Usually, that’s the last step you engage in as a competitor. Before you find the gown, you need to find the girl. You need to discover who you are, what you’re passionate about, how you’d like to create a legacy and give back to your community, what kind of titleholder you’d like to be, etc.

I just recently attend a pageant prep workshop and the main theme of the weekend was defining your why. Why are you competing? Why are you a strong representative? These are questions that outside of a pageantry context might seem strange to ask, but they have actually always spurred a sense of purpose in me. It urges me to consider the type of person I want to be and the type of leader I want to be. It forces me to address my own limitations and insecurities that say I’m not good enough or I’m not ready. It forces me to make a plan, define a strategy, and do daily work to reach that goal.

At the pageant prep workshop, there were floor markers that indicated “You belong here.” While these were in reference to COVID social distancing efforts, I found myself truly thinking. Did I belong there? Did I still have the pageant girl in me? Was I in over my head? Was I tall enough, was I small enough, was I enough period? It had been almost seven years since I had last competed in a pageant and although I was always interested, I kept putting off getting back into pageantry. Year after year, I made an excuse and I counted myself out before I could even jump into things.

In fact, at the end of the weekend, when prompted how I had felt about the day, I began to cry. At first, I felt embarrassed and caught off guard at my reaction. Seriously, I was fine one second and having a Kim Kardashian crying moment the next. But upon further reflection, I realized that I had forgotten what it felt like to truly believe in myself and to find myself worthy of things that were thrilling and terrifying at the same time. Working with my coaches at Pink Door Prep propelled me to address this in a mock pageant session and bring this sentiment to the forefront. Their authenticity, grace, and empathy in their response to my reaction just further reinforced to me that I was in the right room with the right people and that I needed to start believing that I was the right person too. Sometimes, we get lost in all of the glitz and the glamour and the flash. What it boils down to ultimately is, “Am I doing this for myself?”

I have dealt with a lot of various insecurities my whole life and they were rearing their head now that I was putting myself out there again. I had not competed in such a long time and the process of defining my why was not something that I was used to practicing in my adult life. Being pulled back into the pageant arena, I realized this and began to value the person I’ve become and felt a sense of purpose to push through my fear and go for it anyways.

Final thoughts

Pageantry has truly defined who I am and I’m a pageant girl loud and proud. But it’s not always easy. There are years without placements in the Top 5, years where you run into catty contestants (and their moms honestly), years where you 150% believe you can win and plan like no other and still lose, years where you prepare and still make silly mistakes that cost you the crown, and years where you feel burnt out and over it. I remember one year where I lost the title by half a point and just sat in the car ride home silently fuming and looking out the window like a drama queen. But this is like any other environment and honestly, this is like life. You win some, you lose some, but you make the best out of it regardless.

Pageantry is an all encompassing experience that encourages women to put their best foot forward in literally all aspects. Professional, personal, and purpose driven elements are at core of the modern pageant woman today. Pageantry encourages sportsmanship, community impact, self awareness, a stellar wardrobe, professional presence, refined public speaking skills, and the belief in one’s self that yes, you can do it. Modern women today have the ability to choose what they stand for and pageantry is a platform to showcase this. It may not be for everyone, and that’s okay. The Super Bowl isn’t for everyone and I’ve learned that I don’t defend myself to people who are set on misunderstanding the value of pageants. But for those that do understand and welcome it, you’re in for a life changing experience.

And remember, you belong here.

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I started this blog as my own personal and curated collection of experiences meant to guide, to inspire, and to inform. When I'm not running The Bolet Collective, I'm usually snuggling with my Boston Terrier Luna Mia, working as a data privacy consultant, thrifting vintage clothing, or watching films from the 1950's.

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📝 I have a journal where I keep a running list 📝 I have a journal where I keep a running list of quotes, podcasts, books, and other forms of media that I want to read or listen to, but I feel like I’ve run out of things lately. I ended up spending way too much time scrolling in Instagram or TikTok, so I’m asking you instead! 

What are some of your favorites books, articles, blogs, podcasts, etc? Share in the comments below! 🤍🕊

Here are some of my personal favorites: 
Podcasts • Style Your Mind 
Book • The Four Agreements 

Meditation, journaling, gratitude, self love, self care, flowers, spring ottd, home decor, affirmations, routine, green, spring, Pinterest aesthetic, hustle culture, ambition, success, rest 

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblog #latinablogger #latinabloggers #latinabloggersconnect #latinablog #chicagochicblog #selflove #selflovejourney #selfcare #selfcarefirst #gratitudequotes #journalingcommunity #journalingideas #pinterestaesthetic #winteroutfit #winterfashion
Controversial opinion… But I’m over hustle cu Controversial opinion…

But I’m over hustle culture. I’m over “the grind” and sleepless nights and self sacrificing personality. That doesn’t mean I don’t strive to be ambitious, to push myself, to challenge myself, and to aspire for more, but more so that I don’t make my mental and physical health the price I pay to reach my goals. 

So many influential entrepreneurs and successful people have a core routine and set of habits that enable their focus and balance in life while simultaneously pursuing their goals. What makes this possible is the elimination of noise, of doing extra stuff that we don’t want to do, or of saying yes to things that rob us of our energy. So instead of trying to do everything and anything, they focus on their core important things and channel their energy between that and self maintenance. 

So for today, consider the following…

•What plans are you saying yes to that you don’t actually want to go to that end up robbing you of your time?

•What conversations are you entertaining that aren’t inherently valuable to have?

•What relationships are you keeping around because of familiarity but that actually don’t serve you or the betterment of your life? 

•What excuses are you making for yourself and for your time? For the things you eat, for the things you consume, you listen to?

We can still be successful and ambitious and pursue the things that are out of our comfort zone, but I’m prioritizing time to sleep, to rest, to sit, to play, to listen, to absorb, and to just be as my own definition of productivity for this season of life. I’m working on eliminating the noise and making space for the things and people that bring me joy. 🤍🕊

What do you think about hustle culture? 

Meditation, journaling, gratitude, self love, self care, flowers, spring ottd, home decor, affirmations, routine, green, spring, Pinterest aesthetic, hustle culture, ambition, success, rest 

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblog #latinablogger #latinabloggers #latinabloggersconnect #latinablog #chicagochicblog #selflove #selflovejourney #selfcare #selfcarefirst #gratitudequotes #journalingcommunity #journalingideas
in my “my turn” era 🕊💫 wishing you all a in my “my turn” era 🕊💫 wishing you all a productive week 🤍

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #chicagoblog #leopardprint #homedecor
Since I’m usually on the go, one of my favorite Since I’m usually on the go, one of my favorite things to do is to order books from Amazon and have a little collection with me to read on long trips or on the airplane. 

I recently picked up, “14,000 Reasons to Be Happy” mostly because I was curious how you could possibly fit thousands of things into one tiny book.

However, it’s proven to be a huge delight in the sense that I love flipping to a random page and journaling my favorite things that the book mentions. When I’m trying to practice gratitude and I get stuck on what else to write, this is such a fun way to highlight the little and minute things we sometimes overlook.

Here are some of my favorite reasons: 
• being the only one awake in the morning before a big trip
• stained glass windows
• your first paycheck at a new job
• trying again later
• hand painted pottery
• pastry chefs
• sidewalk cafes 
• taking fewer things seriously
• cherry blossom season 
• better results from order and harmony 
• library sofas 
• the flickering lights before a show is about to start
• poems carved in monuments or statues 

What are some of your 14,000 reasons to be happy? Share in the comments below, I’d love to know! 🥰❤️

self love, self care, gratitude, meditation reflection, journaling, daily journal, affirmations, positivity, flowers, yoga, mental health, mindfulness 

#chicago #chicagoblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #midwestblogger #ootd #pinterestaesthetic #florals #selfcare #affirmationsoftheday #affirmationsdaily #lifestyleblog #lifestylebloggers
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." 🌹
 

A major round of applause to what is now undoubtedly my favorite Broadway production I have ever seen. I had to match the fit to the occasion ❤️🥰 

@moulinrougebway @broadwayinchicago 

broadway, theatre, musical performance, chicago, lingerie, blazer, nyc style, parisian style, feminine style, street style, pinterest girl, city life, nightlife outfit, outfit ideas, monochromatic look, fashion inspo

#outfitinspo #colorfulfashion #fashioninspo #chicago #chicagobroadway #aesthetic, #outfitideas #poseinspo #ootd #femininestlye #photoshootideas #nycstyle #celebritystyle #broadwayinchicago #parisianstyle #influencer #chicagochicblog
just two gals on moving day 📦🛋 calling Chic just two gals on moving day 📦🛋

calling Chicago home has always been one of my favorite things. 

for the last seven months, I carved out a space in the West Loop area for the first time after a summer spent hopping around apartments and cities.

This home quickly became my source of peace and security when I needed it the most. It housed my solo dance parties with headphones in after a fun workout, my gal pal sleepovers with sushi on the coffee table and a rom com playing, my dinner parties with my family, and a playground for Luna Mia’s random zoomies. I even hosted Thanksgiving in this space, as my family shared a roasted Turkey and many laughs. 

i hosted friends who had always opened their doors to me whenever I needed a place to stay and this space gave me the opportunity to return the favor. I met my partner during this time and this space gave me the comfort of being in a quick walking distance to both of our apartments while we shared first dates and special moments together. This home allowed me to pop into the coffee shop downstairs for my favorite empanadas and the fact that it faced West meant that I was spoiled with the most amazing sunsets on a regular basis.

I wallpapered my bathroom hot pink and bought a marble fireplace mantle for all of the glamorous vibes and every morning felt like a hotel stay to me with Luna curled up by my side. I installed oversized artwork, put up my own Christmas tree, watered my plants and mental health, and even had a vintage Italian guestbook that I would have my friends and family sign whenever they visited me. 

my West Loop home gave me little and big luxuries in so many ways, but perhaps more importantly, it reminded me that what we want and desire is never out of reach if we take the time to define it. While I'm sad to be leaving this space for my next adventure, I'm so glad I made a home, even if for just a temporary moment. 🔑🏡
▪️Cheesing hard because it’s Friday and I’ ▪️Cheesing hard because it’s Friday and I’m planning a self care weekend 🖤▪️

How do you unwind?

I booked a massage and am perusing all of the sales lately at Deciem, YSL, and Sephora and can’t wait to get some of my holiday shopping in. I also think I’m going to put my Christmas tree up this weekend too.😍❤️▪️
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#chicagoinfluencer #midwestblogger #latinainfluencer #chicagolifestyle #chicagolife #holidayseason
▪️Black satin romper + that Chicago skyline 🤝 ▪️ peep the tiny vintage velvet purse 🥺

Ive been staying low key lately and I can’t wait to go out and get dressed up again. 🥺🥰 
.
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#chicagoblogger #midwestblogger #lifestyleinfluencer #latinablogger #chicagolifestyle
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theboletcollective

theboletcollective
📝 I have a journal where I keep a running list 📝 I have a journal where I keep a running list of quotes, podcasts, books, and other forms of media that I want to read or listen to, but I feel like I’ve run out of things lately. I ended up spending way too much time scrolling in Instagram or TikTok, so I’m asking you instead! 

What are some of your favorites books, articles, blogs, podcasts, etc? Share in the comments below! 🤍🕊

Here are some of my personal favorites: 
Podcasts • Style Your Mind 
Book • The Four Agreements 

Meditation, journaling, gratitude, self love, self care, flowers, spring ottd, home decor, affirmations, routine, green, spring, Pinterest aesthetic, hustle culture, ambition, success, rest 

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblog #latinablogger #latinabloggers #latinabloggersconnect #latinablog #chicagochicblog #selflove #selflovejourney #selfcare #selfcarefirst #gratitudequotes #journalingcommunity #journalingideas #pinterestaesthetic #winteroutfit #winterfashion
Controversial opinion… But I’m over hustle cu Controversial opinion…

But I’m over hustle culture. I’m over “the grind” and sleepless nights and self sacrificing personality. That doesn’t mean I don’t strive to be ambitious, to push myself, to challenge myself, and to aspire for more, but more so that I don’t make my mental and physical health the price I pay to reach my goals. 

So many influential entrepreneurs and successful people have a core routine and set of habits that enable their focus and balance in life while simultaneously pursuing their goals. What makes this possible is the elimination of noise, of doing extra stuff that we don’t want to do, or of saying yes to things that rob us of our energy. So instead of trying to do everything and anything, they focus on their core important things and channel their energy between that and self maintenance. 

So for today, consider the following…

•What plans are you saying yes to that you don’t actually want to go to that end up robbing you of your time?

•What conversations are you entertaining that aren’t inherently valuable to have?

•What relationships are you keeping around because of familiarity but that actually don’t serve you or the betterment of your life? 

•What excuses are you making for yourself and for your time? For the things you eat, for the things you consume, you listen to?

We can still be successful and ambitious and pursue the things that are out of our comfort zone, but I’m prioritizing time to sleep, to rest, to sit, to play, to listen, to absorb, and to just be as my own definition of productivity for this season of life. I’m working on eliminating the noise and making space for the things and people that bring me joy. 🤍🕊

What do you think about hustle culture? 

Meditation, journaling, gratitude, self love, self care, flowers, spring ottd, home decor, affirmations, routine, green, spring, Pinterest aesthetic, hustle culture, ambition, success, rest 

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #lifestyleblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblog #latinablogger #latinabloggers #latinabloggersconnect #latinablog #chicagochicblog #selflove #selflovejourney #selfcare #selfcarefirst #gratitudequotes #journalingcommunity #journalingideas
in my “my turn” era 🕊💫 wishing you all a in my “my turn” era 🕊💫 wishing you all a productive week 🤍

#chicagoinfluencer #chicagoblogger #chicagoblog #leopardprint #homedecor
Since I’m usually on the go, one of my favorite Since I’m usually on the go, one of my favorite things to do is to order books from Amazon and have a little collection with me to read on long trips or on the airplane. 

I recently picked up, “14,000 Reasons to Be Happy” mostly because I was curious how you could possibly fit thousands of things into one tiny book.

However, it’s proven to be a huge delight in the sense that I love flipping to a random page and journaling my favorite things that the book mentions. When I’m trying to practice gratitude and I get stuck on what else to write, this is such a fun way to highlight the little and minute things we sometimes overlook.

Here are some of my favorite reasons: 
• being the only one awake in the morning before a big trip
• stained glass windows
• your first paycheck at a new job
• trying again later
• hand painted pottery
• pastry chefs
• sidewalk cafes 
• taking fewer things seriously
• cherry blossom season 
• better results from order and harmony 
• library sofas 
• the flickering lights before a show is about to start
• poems carved in monuments or statues 

What are some of your 14,000 reasons to be happy? Share in the comments below, I’d love to know! 🥰❤️

self love, self care, gratitude, meditation reflection, journaling, daily journal, affirmations, positivity, flowers, yoga, mental health, mindfulness 

#chicago #chicagoblogger #lifestyle #lifestyleblogger #midwestblogger #ootd #pinterestaesthetic #florals #selfcare #affirmationsoftheday #affirmationsdaily #lifestyleblog #lifestylebloggers
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." 🌹
 

A major round of applause to what is now undoubtedly my favorite Broadway production I have ever seen. I had to match the fit to the occasion ❤️🥰 

@moulinrougebway @broadwayinchicago 

broadway, theatre, musical performance, chicago, lingerie, blazer, nyc style, parisian style, feminine style, street style, pinterest girl, city life, nightlife outfit, outfit ideas, monochromatic look, fashion inspo

#outfitinspo #colorfulfashion #fashioninspo #chicago #chicagobroadway #aesthetic, #outfitideas #poseinspo #ootd #femininestlye #photoshootideas #nycstyle #celebritystyle #broadwayinchicago #parisianstyle #influencer #chicagochicblog
just two gals on moving day 📦🛋 calling Chic just two gals on moving day 📦🛋

calling Chicago home has always been one of my favorite things. 

for the last seven months, I carved out a space in the West Loop area for the first time after a summer spent hopping around apartments and cities.

This home quickly became my source of peace and security when I needed it the most. It housed my solo dance parties with headphones in after a fun workout, my gal pal sleepovers with sushi on the coffee table and a rom com playing, my dinner parties with my family, and a playground for Luna Mia’s random zoomies. I even hosted Thanksgiving in this space, as my family shared a roasted Turkey and many laughs. 

i hosted friends who had always opened their doors to me whenever I needed a place to stay and this space gave me the opportunity to return the favor. I met my partner during this time and this space gave me the comfort of being in a quick walking distance to both of our apartments while we shared first dates and special moments together. This home allowed me to pop into the coffee shop downstairs for my favorite empanadas and the fact that it faced West meant that I was spoiled with the most amazing sunsets on a regular basis.

I wallpapered my bathroom hot pink and bought a marble fireplace mantle for all of the glamorous vibes and every morning felt like a hotel stay to me with Luna curled up by my side. I installed oversized artwork, put up my own Christmas tree, watered my plants and mental health, and even had a vintage Italian guestbook that I would have my friends and family sign whenever they visited me. 

my West Loop home gave me little and big luxuries in so many ways, but perhaps more importantly, it reminded me that what we want and desire is never out of reach if we take the time to define it. While I'm sad to be leaving this space for my next adventure, I'm so glad I made a home, even if for just a temporary moment. 🔑🏡
▪️Cheesing hard because it’s Friday and I’ ▪️Cheesing hard because it’s Friday and I’m planning a self care weekend 🖤▪️

How do you unwind?

I booked a massage and am perusing all of the sales lately at Deciem, YSL, and Sephora and can’t wait to get some of my holiday shopping in. I also think I’m going to put my Christmas tree up this weekend too.😍❤️▪️
.
.
.
.
.
#chicagoinfluencer #midwestblogger #latinainfluencer #chicagolifestyle #chicagolife #holidayseason
▪️Black satin romper + that Chicago skyline 🤝 ▪️ peep the tiny vintage velvet purse 🥺

Ive been staying low key lately and I can’t wait to go out and get dressed up again. 🥺🥰 
.
.
.
.
.
#chicagoblogger #midwestblogger #lifestyleinfluencer #latinablogger #chicagolifestyle
Load More... Follow on Instagram
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Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
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