LIVING

Dating is a journey in it of itself. For me, it’s included a long list of hilarious first date stories and amazing moments of connection, excitement, and first date butterflies. Like the guy I met during sunset in Portugal and had a spontaneous first date with afterwards, the guy I met on a double date in London with my best friend, or the guy who wrote me postcards and letters while we were getting to know each other. (I kept them all.) It has also included some not so great experiences with people that I shouldn’t have continued seeing. This included the guy who mansplained my job and interests and made completely ignorant and racist commentary about my ethnicity or the guy who showed up an hour late, “forgot his wallet” and then asked for my leftovers. (True story!)

Having gone through so many ups and downs in the dating world, I’ve come to define a couple of key elements that are imperative for me to have a healthy and enjoyable dating experience. Defining these areas for myself has resulted in more meaningful and compatible first dates with people who are respectful and great company because I am able to discern who is worth my time from the beginning. Not all of them turned into something long-term, but that’s not always the goal. Sometimes, the journey and the process is the objective, and not the final destination itself. These are some of my personal favorites.

Know what you’re looking for.

This sounds obvious, but it truly is something that is important to define to yourself before you start. It’s easy to download a dating app and scroll or swipe through profiles endlessly and click on people that catch your interest. But do you know the type of person you’re looking for? What things are you focusing on? Are you interested in something completely casual or more serious and long-term? What factors are important to you? Do you have more of an open mind or are you clear on the characteristics your ideal person should have?

Most dating apps have the location and age parameters already in place, but they also allow you to screen by religion, education, interests, political views, etc. By having a clear idea of what you’re looking for, you can use these features to your advantage and only be shown people that you know would have an existing alignment with your life and values. In addition, with such a high volume of people on these apps, you can make more meaningful matches and connections with people you know you’d be interested in meeting in person instead of just digging through the large pool of options without any sort of preselection taking place.

Be intentional about your time.

There are a lot of men (and women!) out there that would love to have your attention, but have no intention on following through with it. These are the men that FaceTime and text you all day long and interrupt your focus, but never actually follow through on plans or only create casual scenarios for you to meet. Having someone’s attention and having someone’s intentions are two different things and it’s important to identify when you’re receiving what.

If you see that someone is not making plans or time for you in the ways that you need it over an extended period of time, be selective about if you’ll continue to allow them access to you. You can certainly open the conversation and mention that this is a priority for you and see how they’ll react. However, if they don’t respect what you’re saying and they continue to just want access to you in a casual and convenient way, move along because you have better ways of investing your time.

Define, set, and communicate boundaries.

Setting and communicating boundaries are arguably the most important thing on this list. Boundaries create the parameters and expectations for how we expect to be treated and the environments we put ourselves in. If you don’t have a clear idea on where your line is or what you’d like your dating experience to be, you create the opportunity for someone else to define it for you. People are always going to offer things and push the envelope to see and test what you’ll tolerate. It is up to you to determine what your boundaries are and it is also up to you to actively communicate this to the person you’re seeing.

I used to have a tough time with this and it resulted in really toxic dating experiences because I never defined when enough was enough. Having taken the time to define my own personal boundaries, I now have a completely different dating experience because I only allow people who respect me and what’s important to me. Maybe we don’t have a romantic connection or I don’t see myself dating them long-term, but that’s totally normal and expected. However, setting and communicating those boundaries has allowed me to have a healthy dating environment that protects me and my time until I find the right person.

Be realistic with who the other person is.

Sometimes, the people we meet have incredible potential. They’re smart, talented, and you have mutual chemistry with this person. However, their behavior doesn’t align with your expectations or they don’t respect your boundaries or time. Be realistic with yourself about the characteristics that a person shows you and don’t just be selective and look for what you want to see. Ignoring red flags in the beginning only sets you up for failure. It’s important to not fall in love with potential and with what you think someone else could be like in the future. Notice who they’re showing you they are through their words and behaviors and use that as the foundation for your personal opinion on whether you’d like to continue seeing them.

I see a lot of people love someone’s appearance or what they look like on paper, so they ignore all the red flags or make excuses for this person who is not actually making the cut for what they’re looking for. This is where we end up creating false scenarios and personas of who this person is and we end up disappointed when they don’t fulfill them. Notice who people are from the get go, not what you want them to be.

Keep your options open.

I’d argue this area is up to personal preference, but I like to keep it here anyways. I personally think it’s important to keep your options open and get to know several people at a time. My reason is exposure to a wide variety of personalities is important to distinguish what you like and don’t like and it keeps a healthy pace and timeline when getting to know someone. If you focus all your eggs in one basket and person and try and speed date someone over the course of a few weeks, you don’t create alternative environments to cross check your experience. It also allows you to not get too caught up in one person too soon because you have the opportunity to meet others along the same time. If the relationship progresses at a healthy rate and there is a mutual desire for exclusivity, then absolutely move forward with that. But when you’re just getting to know someone, it’s important to meet new people and keep your options open.

Enjoy the process of singleness and dating overall.

Dating is the process of meeting people, simply put. Dates are just a conversation that allow you to figure out what you’re looking for. If it works out, you now have someone in your life that you enjoy and want to continue to get to know. If it doesn’t work out, you now have a better understanding of what you’re looking for and experience in getting those first date jitters out. Sometimes, dating can be casual or it can be serious, but regardless, make sure to enjoy yourself and not take things so insanely serious at first. Get to know someone, laugh, try new restaurants together, learn something from one another. Enjoy your own company and the flexibility of having ownership over your own time. Make the best of every stage of your life and don’t get so caught up in being in a relationship that you forget to enjoy the journey of singleness and everything it entails.

Final thoughts

For many years, I was notorious for having horrible first date stories. Some dates left me crying in tears of laughter out of the ridiculous things that happened and others left me in tears out of the ridiculous things someone did or said. Both were important for me to understand what I was looking for, but the tips I’ve included in this list have led to a healthier and overall more positive dating experience for me with less extremes.

I love being by myself and I love getting to know other people. I love knowing my own limits and expectations and I love being able to communicate that with others. I love trying new places and meeting new people and have genuinely made dating a process I can enjoy, rather than one beelining for the relationship destination. I hope these insights can inspire you to remember that you can create the experiences you want and that you deserve a healthy and fun dating experience overall, regardless of the final outcome.

Let’s talk money. And let’s be real with ourselves. Do you know what your financial profile looks like? Do you know what you should be looking for? Are you planing for your financial future? In all sincerity, when I first started my first job out of graduate school, I didn’t know a lot about this. My benefits package felt like a pile of paperwork written in a different language and I didn’t register for my 401K for an entire year because I was too scared and felt overwhelmed by all of the legal and financial jargon.

Get yourself in the habit of asking, does this decision support the life I am trying to create?

Sometimes, I would avoid looking at my bank account and just Russian roulette my debt card at the cash register to see if it would go through. These are definitely not my proudest moments, but I learned a lot from them. Specifically, I’ve learned that I cannot let my fear or unfamiliarity on a topic stop me from pursuing financial wellness and that denial or ignorance is not a place I want to continue to live my life from.

As we discuss what financial attributes are important to know, here are some of the major areas that you should be aware of to have a better understanding of your financial profile. Please keep in mind I am not a finance professional and this information is purely for informative or entertainment purposes and should not be seen as professional advice. Any action you take from this article is at your own risk.

For further information around disclaimers, please view our disclaimer page here.

Your credit score

This is an excellent starting point to determine an overall estimate of your financial profile, as it provides a record of your open and closed accounts, payment history, potential collections, and more. A credit score is a number within the ranges of 300-850 that determines your credit risk profile, as well as your financial habits such as payment history and overall debt load. This credit score number is vastly important because it can dictate your eligibility for affordable student loan interest rates, eligibility for apartments for rent or for purchase, and approval for automobile purchases.

Thankfully, there are a few ways to find out what your credit score is. One is by reaching out to the three credit bureaus online and asking for a free annual report. The three major credit bureaus are TransUnion, Equifax, and Experian. Two, and my personal favorite, is to access a bank account or credit card account that provides rough estimates of your credit score on a monthly basis for free. Chase, Discover, and Citibank all currently have monthly credit reports that are generated and linked to your account. You will not receive any penalties for checking your account through these.

The importance of knowing your credit score is that it’s a starting point for you to determine what your financial picture looks like.

Your student loan amount and interest rates

If you do not have student loans, feel free to skip this section! But if you’re like me, you came out of college with a significant amount of student loans and had no idea how to even begin understanding what you owed, how fast it was accruing, and at what interest rate. This can be further broken down in a different blog post, but for now, you can look at your credit score under accounts to see what different lenders are linked to your profile.

In the instance you only have one lender, perhaps a common lender such as Great Lakes, you can create an account on the Great Lakes website and login to find out these data points. They can provide more information about your specific loan breakdown, repayment periods, auto pay discounts, and different interest rates. It’s important to recognize your overall student loan debt and the varying interest rates that you might be juggling to make a game plan for repayment.

For example, since I took out loans during different time periods of my college career, I had over five different interest rate amounts with my student loan provider. Calculating what my highest and lowest rates were and determining how much I was paying in annual interest alone was a huge wake up call. Knowing this number and having a tangible understanding of my total debt picture allowed me to look at refinancing options and other methods of bringing my principal balance down. This was only possible by doing research on my student loan profile and getting clear on who I owed and what I owed.

Your monthly budget

Sincerely, this one has always been tough for me and it’s something I’m continuously working on. As I first started my post graduate life, I threw all of my money to student loans and to traveling and expensive Ubers. I figured I was being responsible by making large sum payments on my student loans, so I earned the flexibility on other areas of my life. Wrong! While it’s not about earning versus not earning fun purchases, it’s about having a game plan that honors your savings, debt repayment, and overall budgeting goals before you dig into your money pot to spend it on unnecessary things.

As I’ve progressed into adulthood, working with a financial planner was incredibly helpful. He provided guidance and a strong starting point for truthfully evaluating my spending habits, my debt repayment goals, my savings for retirement and emergency fund goals, and other milestones I wanted to account for.

In addition, setting a rough budget gives me a mental allocation to my finances once they hit my account. Instead of seeing xxx amount of money and thinking about what I could buy or do, I think about my other obligations first and then come to a more realistic number for my “fun” budget. I also give value to each dollar that hits my account and know where it needs to be allocated to reach my objective. I’ll budget money for shopping or food or other extras, but I primarily make sure my financial commitments are covered first.

Your financial goals

As we mentioned earlier when discussing a proper budget, it’s important to do so because it enables you to reach your financial goals. Failure to plan is a plan to fail. These goals can vary person to person, but can include things like paying off an X amount of your student loans in three years, investing into your 401K or Roth IRA, setting money aside for a big trip or weekend getaway you’d like to take, or putting money away for a three to six month emergency fund.

Your needs may vary, but defining what exactly those needs are and how your current financial profile can meet them is imperative. I’ve found by doing this, I also create a level of tangible accountability for myself where instead of saying “Oh, I’d like to pay off my loans one day”, it’s “I have a goal of paying off 10% of my overall student debt in the next three years and this is the monthly payment I need to reach that goal.” Having that specific goal keeps me on track and makes sure that I honor my personal commitments.

Don’t forget to create fun financial goals as well! Even if it’s a weekly coffee fund or a rainy day fund, give yourself something to look forward to when you’re saving. Once you do get the chance to treat yourself, it’ll feel even better because you know you’re doing it in a responsible way.

Your amount of consumer debt

Credit cards! Points! Travel perks! There are so many wonderful things that credit cards can provide if they’re used appropriately and paid off on a regular basis. But what happens when we outspend what we make and we find ourselves paying massively high interest rates on racking credit card debt?

First of all, it’s important to know how many accounts you have open. Again, you can use your credit score as a starting point to identify what is under your name. Second, you need to find out what is the balance on each of these accounts. Third, you need to evaluate what amount of interest rates are you accruing monthly.

I know it’s easy to get up to the register for a big purchase or even multiple small ones and swipe your card thinking you’ll deal with it later. But then later comes and it’s at the cost of a 28.99% APR and all of a sudden, you’re not sure how you’re going to pay things down.

Knowing your consumer debt profile gives you a starting point and an opportunity to assess where you could be prioritizing making minimum payments versus higher amounts for faster repayment so that you can eliminate them as soon as possible.

Your net worth

Lastly, the previous metrics all come together to compile what is known as your net worth. If it’s negative, don’t fret! You may be working with large amounts of students loans that your savings won’t be able to balance out yet. That’s okay, but having an understanding of what this number overall looks like is an excellent starting point to make a game plan. Your net worth is a wholistic picture of your debts, investments, and savings and provides a picture of your financial and non-financial assets minus your liabilities.

Once you have an idea of what your net worth calculation is, you can begin to make a strategy. What areas do you want to focus on first? Do you have an emergency fund? Can you refinance your student loans for a more competitive interest rate? Can you commit to making larger payments on your consumer debt?

You can calculate this net worth manually with pen and paper and breaking down your financial responsibilities. There are also financial monitoring and planning apps like Mint that automatically calculate this for you based on the accounts that you link to the application.

Final thoughts

The idea behind knowing these six key financial attributes isn’t meant to scare you. On the contrary, it’s meant for you to have a clear awareness of what your financial profile is and how you can get started on enhancing it for your future.

It is never too early to start thinking about your financial security and it’s especially important when you start to earn your own money and can make advancements on your financial objectives.

Please note that I am not a financial professional and this is meant to be informative and all information provided here is meant to be taken at your own risk. This is not considered financial advice and is meant for entertainment or informative purposes only.

Twenty six. Twenty six years to define my life. Twenty six opportunities to blow out candles. Twenty six Happy Birthday songs. Birthdays are always a big deal for me. Every year, I throw a big party or dinner with my friends and make the most out of my special day. A pandemic birthday feels different. Notable, but not in the traditional sense. It feels more intimate, more personal. It feels like cozy dinners, fresh flowers, and moments of gratitude to appreciate life. When you’ve made your way around the sun twenty six times, you pick up a thing or two. Here are my twenty six favorites.

1. Your strength and self-respect are yours. Never give those things away.

2. Eating healthy is a priority and you can make healthy meals fun and enjoyable. You don’t need to be obsessed with intricate two hour long recipes or with every single vegetable available. (I’m looking at you, eggplant and arugula.) Find what you like and stick to it if that’s what works for you.

3. You can and should trust your own instincts more. Asking for feedback from friends and family can be important, but it’s not always necessary. You’re the one that has to deal with the results of your decisions, so check-in with how you’re feeling about things first before you start crowd sourcing how others think you should feel or react.

4. You can usually tell whether or not you’re compatible with someone or would like to see them again within the first five minutes of talking to them. Trust this feeling. If some guy rubs you the wrong way and you’re hoping it was just an oversight, it usually isn’t. Save yourself the time and move along.

5. Saying no in the workplace will not make you any less like-able. Saying yes to work you cannot or do not want to take on and then having a bad attitude or stressful day because of it will. Honor your commitments when you make them, but also be selective and honest with what you take on. Practice self advocacy.

6. Having a pet of your own will bring you an immense amount of joy, peace, comfort, and responsibility. It will also include lots of Boston Terrier farts and ruined heels and shoes. Plan accordingly, but also relish in the fact that you’re taking care of a tiny little being that adores you and is your best friend.

7. Participating in gossip is a murky trait that you do not want to be a part of. Do not be shy to shut down comments from others that are malicious or backhanded and don’t speak about people privately in ways that you wouldn’t speak publicly to them.

8. No relationship, friendship or romantic, is EVER worth your mental sanity. If it’s causing you unnecessary stress and they’re not having a healthy response to conflict resolution, then goodbye and good riddance. Sometimes, their energy is just rubbing you the wrong way and you can’t figure out why. Don’t stick around to find out, just leave it at that and move along.

9. Just because you have access to financial funds does not mean they’re available for whatever purpose you feel like. Plan, prioritize, and protect your money. You won’t regret paying down debts, building up savings, and investing in your future. You are worthy of financial stability and success.

10. Red flags are red flags are red flags are flags that are 100% red. They are not any less of a red flag just because someone had a traumatic upbringing or they are good looking or they are insecure and don’t know how to handle their own emotional turbulence. You cannot fix or change someone that is not motivated to be a better version of themselves for themselves. Move along. Immediately.

11. You can be an introvert and an extrovert. You can equally love and sing to every Frank Sinatra and Cardi B song. You can be the pageant girl and the captain of the debate team and the cyber security boss. You don’t have to define yourself or your personality or interests into any strict category. Like what you like, love what you love, this is your life.

12. Your siblings and cousins that you grew up with are all going to turn into amazing young adults and incredible friends to lean on and build with. Support one another and stay close.

13. Setting boundaries and pushing back when people violate them isn’t being rude. It’s your right to accept or deny what you allow into your life. When people get defensive or accusatory, it’s usually because they were benefitting from your loose boundaries previously and are angry at the change or pushback. That is not your problem.

14. It took you 26 years to build your talents, skillsets, heart, and confidence and five years of university to get your degrees. Don’t expect overnight returns on your initial investments. Great things take time and it’s okay to take an extended break to work on yourself or to let projects take time to gain traction. Don’t give up.

15. Support and celebrate others, even if you’re not there yet. Being inspired and excited for someone’s special life moments and being jealous and spiteful are two experiences worlds apart. Truly take the time to celebrate a friend’s promotion, new baby, new marriage, or whatever it may be, even if their personal milestones look different from yours.

16. Working on your communication skills, both written, verbal, and non-verbal, is the most important skillset you can learn for any career. Learning how to speak with confidence, write with eloquence, and stand with elegance are all things you can carry with you wherever you go.

17. Set goals. And don’t just set what you think you can achieve. Push yourself to think about your craziest life passions and dreams. Articulate these through journals, vision boards, notes in your iPhone, sticky notes around your home, Pinterest boards, wherever. Manifestation and energy is constantly there. Attract and expect the very best.

18. Somedays, you just won’t feel like doing life. That’s totally fine and expected. Take the day off, put on your favorite musicals, clean your room, buy flowers, order your favorite meal, get some sleep, and just chill out. You can try again tomorrow. And the day after that.

19. There is never going to be a point in your life where you won’t be a work in progress or figuring certain things out. Each year and stage of your life will require a refined version of you and it’s okay to be redefining what that looks like and who that is.

20. Social media is a wonderful, wonderful thing. But you don’t need to have every single kind of account. Pick your favorites, monitor your usage, limit your comparison to others, and remember to still enjoy your life offline. That’s the one that counts anyways.

21. Don’t count yourself out before you even allow yourself to play the game. Why shouldn’t you have your dream job? Your dream relationship? Your dream life? You deserve it and you will continue to work hard for it. It’s never too late and you are always worthy of the opportunity. Don’t set your own personal limitations and say “I can’t do that.” Say “why not me?”

22. You love to overdress. You love to wear false lashes on a regular basis. You love over the top decorations and parties and personalities. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less than or uncomfortable because of that. There are people out there that will show up to a brunch in a polka dot fur coat and there are people that will snicker behind her back about it. Be friends with the girl in the polka dot fur coat.

23. Barely passing Algebra in high school and Accounting in graduate school does not make you any less brilliant and won’t be something you remember ten years from now. It’s just not your favorite thing. Get a tutor, pass the class, and run off to your liberal arts classes and professors. They’re more fun anyways.

24. Ask a ton of questions, take a lot of notes, do a ton of research, talk to a lot of people that are doing the things you want to be doing. You are so lucky to live in a time period where the internet provides access to an abundance of information and networks. Use it! On that same note, pay it forward when people ask you lots of questions and talk to you about the things you’re doing or have done.

25. How you greet someone and how you say goodbye to someone are both equally important. Be genuine, authentic, and warm and make others feel that warmth.

26. Twelve year old Sam would have been proud of the person you became.

Fun fact: I had always lived near a Trader Joe’s in my hometown, had never been, and I only started going after college when a roommate introduced it to me. I always thought it was an expensive Whole Foods twin and I never even gave it a chance or went inside to find out for myself.

While it’s not the go-to place where I buy my main meal items, I’m still definitely a regular and I’ve even come to love certain items that I continue to repurchase over and over. Generally speaking, I tend to eat the same types of foods daily, so I love to pop into Trader Joe’s to find items here and there to switch things up with. A side perk is also that I genuinely love the experience of shopping there and find the unique assortment of branded and seasonal items to be a treat because you never know what you’ll find.

Birthday cards, thank you cards, get well soon cards, etc!

I like to think this is a well-kept TJ secret, but I’m telling you anyways because the secret needs to be out. Trader Joes has some of the most gorgeous illustrations, messages, and overall aesthetics when it comes to their card selection. Seriously, they’re beautiful, look expensive and creative, and are an easy and thoughtful gesture to gift. Most greeting cards have minimal design or completely over the top design, (I’m thinking of the cards with a dog in sunglasses driving a convertible) but I personally find the TJ designs to be a happy medium.

It gets better! Every single card is only $1.00. I make a point to check this section whenever I’m in the store and I’ll pick up some of my favorites for future occasions. It’s absolutely worth the peek, especially since Walgreens can sell greeting cards ranging from $3.99-6.99, depending on the decals on them! I have a little stash I keep handy for whenever I need them and I like that they tend to switch out fresh designs routinely. I’ve even bought ones with designs I liked so much that I used them as prints and framed them!

Spice, spice baby!

There are so many unique spice variations that are unique to the Trader Joes brand. You’ve probably heard of the Everything But The Bagel seasoning, but that’s just the start of it. Some of my personal favorites include the 23 Seasoning and the Chili Lime seasoning.

I like their spice selection because they tend to consolidate a variety of spices to create a unique blend that expedites my cooking because I only need to reach for a few containers versus an entire spice rack for my meal. So instead of plucking the garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and oregano separately, I can just pair one or two of the spices for the same taste profile. I also love bringing some whenever I’m traveling for work. I’ll toss one or two in my purse and have it available to spice up boring cafeteria meals or generic hotel breakfast food.

Flowers

Trader Joe’s is my absolute go-to place for flowers and fresh greenery. They get fresh shipments every single day and they are constantly switching the options available on a seasonal basis. I want to highlight the fact that they’re fresh because I’ve compared the flowers and greenery from other prominent grocery stores, and I don’t feel like their selection holds up.

The Trader Joe prices are incredibly fair and reasonable for beautiful arrangements. The majority of their selection, except for their orchids, fall between $3.00-$10.00. For one of my birthdays, I went to the nearest store and bought out every single set of white roses they had and spread them out in glass vases around my apartment. It was a simple, fresh, and elegant touch and a big hit for the party I hosted later. The flowers also lasted the whole week, so it was a perfect way to keep the birthday spirit going.

I also love making floral arrangements as a thoughtful housewarming or birthday gift, so I’ll always pop in and pick out a couple of different floral and greenery pieces to put together. The guests and the homeowners can enjoy them and the arrangement itself is handmade by me. But you seriously don’t ever need a special occasion for flowers. Get them on a Tuesday for yourself if you feel like it.

Avocados

Hear me out on this one. You know that avocados have about a forty five minute lifespan before they get all brown. It’s science. And I can’t tell you how many I’ve had to toss one because I forget to eat the second half or it goes bad. This is where the Trader Joes avocados come in. TJ sells a small bag of tiny avocados for $2.99.

I have come to love these because of their size and taste. The size means I’m able to use a whole one on a meal and I don’t feel wasteful because there’s nothing I have to store for later. The taste is great as well, as they’re genuinely and consistently delicious and creamy. My only caveat is because they’re so small, they tend to ripen rather quickly, so that’s just something to keep in mind! But I like picking up a bag of these and popping the avocados in a sandwich, an omelette, or on top of a salad.

Dessert

Where do I start… The rich dark chocolate covered espresso beans? The pint of juicy mango sorbet? The tiny Parisian box of frozen macaroons? The soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies? The decadent box of four chocolate cupcakes with the creamy vanilla icing?

It’s so weird, nothing comes to mind. As if. There are so many wonderful things to choose from and try. You’ll find these items sprinkled out throughout the store by the cash register, in the frozen food aisles, and in their dessert section, so always keep an eye out. I love picking up something new to try if my taste buds are up for it or just indulging in some of my personal favorites. The mango sorbet is my go-to refresher in the summer time and the dark chocolate espresso beans are amazing as a snack in the winter.

As a side note, I enjoy the portion sizes of their desserts. If you go to the bakery section of most grocery stores, you’re either looking at a giant set of 24 cupcakes or a box of a dozen cookies. Maybe you’re going to a small dinner with friends or you just want something to personally snack on for the evening, but I like that the portions are on the smaller end for these reasons!

Final thoughts

Trader Joe’s is a national chain, so take a peek and see if one is nearby you! As a consultant, I would always travel to client sites across the country and stop at a Trader Joes on my way to the hotel to pick up snacks, protein shakes, or even plants for my desk if I was going to be on a long term project. I still have one of my tiny TJ plants I kept on the window by my desk for a project in DC from a year ago.

Or if you’ve been going there your whole life and aren’t just recently enamored like me, still try picking up any of these items the next time you’re shopping around and let me know what you enjoyed!

The thrill and excitement that comes with getting the keys to your first apartment is exhilarating. You finally get the freedom to decorate your own room, be the pad that hosts dinner parties or happy hours, and start cultivating your own personal nest in the city. Plus, it also marks an important milestone in the beginning of your young adult life.

Whenever I knew I would be moving, the first thing I would do was design a Pinterest board for decor and inspiration. Immediately, I would be perusing the internet for tips and tricks on how to make my space look stellar, while pinning photos for color palette and mood board inspiration. My first apartment out of college consisted of a tiny bedroom (It seriously only fit my bed and a bookcase) in a three bedroom apartment and my first time living alone after college was in a 300 square foot studio. Although I ended up creating a space I loved in each environment, there was no questioning that every inch needed functionality and design imbedded into it.

As I reflect on my first few homes and what I would do differently, I realize I made some savvy and not so savvy decisions when it came to purchasing items for my home. Keep on reading to learn more about the do’s and don’ts when decorating and furnishing your first apartment!

SAVE

BUY SECONDHAND  FURNITURE AND DECOR ACCESSORIES

Okay, a fun fact about me is that I have expensive taste. My Pinterest boards always illustrate an extravagant taste in interior design and I love being creative with how spaces can evoke an emotion when you’re in them. You should also know that I hate spending money unnecessarily.

If the first thing I would do was make a Pinterest board, then the second thing I would do is check Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist to find dupes or similar styles of the pieces that caught my eye! Maybe my Pinterest board had French chateau style decor, but my budget certainly could not keep up. To compensate, I would look for vintage decor that emulated French Parisian design. I would incorporate this through a vintage bust, a gold trimmed ornate vanity mirror, or a Paris travel guide book that I could place on my coffee table. I started with small touches like this to introduce elements I loved without breaking the bank.

I believe it is truly essential to buy secondhand decor and furniture when you are living in your first apartment. How come? Well, you’re still defining your lifestyle and preferences within your first few years out of college. It would be a shame to spend large sums of money on expensive furniture catered to your first apartment or first job that you could quickly outgrow or that won’t realistically transition with you to your future homes. 

For my first apartment, I scoured the internet to land the best deal on things like my bed frame (a $3,500 Restoration Hardware headboard heavy beast that I snagged for under $400), a comfortable couch (a suede gray tufted couch that I scored for $15 at Goodwill), dresser, dining tables and chairs. I would also pick-up large artwork, ornate mirrors, or vintage books secondhand at thrift shops like Goodwill, The Salvation Army, and other local resale shops. This allowed me to easily swap out pieces for a fresh look throughout my different apartments without making a huge dent in my wallet. T

he best part was, since I was living with roommates, I wasn’t as delicate about damages that would occur from normal day-to-day use. I knew I had paid an affordable price and when I moved out, I felt comfortable selling the pieces because I knew I wasn’t going to be losing a lot of money on the original cost. There are still some pieces I have in my furniture collection today from this era even!

SPLURGE

SPLURGE ON COMFORTABLE HIGH QUALITY BEDDING

While I absolutely recommend purchasing furniture and decor secondhand, I did choose to invest in certain new items when transitioning into my new apartment. Anything regarding bedding is a sound investment, if you ask me. Whether it’s comfortable new king sized pillows from Amazon, a silk pillowcase, a cozy fluffy comforter, or high quality white cotton sheets, I splurged on these items to create a comfortable and desirable sleeping environment that I could take to every apartment. This is also a material that your body and skin are constantly coming into contact with, so splurging on fabrics that are higher quality will pay off.

INVEST IN HIGH QUALITY KITCHEN-WARE

If you’re like me, you love to cook and eat! Meal prepping, baking, or just day-to-day cooking requires a variety of utensils and pots or pans. My strong suggestion is to make the investment in your kitchen-ware items and to purchase high quality items. Pick a basic set of high quality pots and pans to prepare meals in, stainless steel silverware, a sharp knives set, colorful plates, and a matching set of drinking glasses. If you pick something in a neutral color, even better! You can always snag the champagne flutes and floral teapots after, but start with these basics first. You can transition these pieces with you to every apartment, even if your tastes change, and they are practical to use on a daily basis.

In addition, a lot of lower quality kitchen-ware can leak toxins or metals into your food when heated to different temperatures, so it’s typically better to take the safe route with things you ingest. I did not make this a priority and I chose the fashion over function with my kitchen-ware. While my gold pans and spatulas looked cute visually, they essentially fell apart quickly. My plastic Tupperware would get warped in the dishwasher, the pots were not temperature resistant and my food constantly would stick to them, and my knives were not high quality, making chopping vegetables a pain. One knife even completely broke in half when I was cutting ingredients for a meal! Investing in a strong kitchen set you can build on is a great place to spend your money and it is something you can take with you wherever you move.

At the end of the day, it is your decision where you invest your money when moving into your new apartment. Naturally, as I grew more into myself and my career, my needs and taste changed and I was able to upgrade to different select pieces that fit my long-term needs and taste over time.

Final Thoughts

While I was happy I saved my money when it came to expensive furniture and decorations, I found myself constantly repurchasing low quality kitchen items to keep up with the ones that were getting damaged. At the end of the day, moving into your first apartment and starting from scratch is a big feat in it of itself. Make things easier on you and your wallet by saving money on your furnishings and decor and investing in the pieces that you will get routine and daily use out of. Keep these tips in mind when you get the keys to your new place and you’re thinking of what to throw on your “must haves” list!