How to Compliment Others with Confidence

Let others see the good that you see in them. – Margaret Manning

I am the girl that will stop what she’s doing and compliment your outfit as I’m walking past. If you have a unique face mask and you pop into an elevator with me, I will make sure to let you know. If you were super helpful at my hotel check-in or at the grocery store, I’m the first to say thank you. I love telling my friends that I’m proud of them. I genuinely love giving compliments.

There’s just something about seeing someone’s entire demeanor shift after you call out something positive in them. Maybe it’s the extra pep in their step, but people genuinely transform when they’re acknowledged by strangers and by loved ones in a positive way and that feeling lingers. I didn’t used to always be that way. If I liked something about someone, I kept it to myself or I felt awkward speaking up about it. But being in a pandemic and having such limited interaction with others, I’ve made it a point to always compliment someone in a genuine way when I can.

Sometimes, we want to show the people in our lives that we truly and deeply care about them. But we can’t find the words or we think of high-level compliments like, “Your hair looks great today!” or “Your outfit is super cute!” I’ve put together some of my favorite ways to give thanks or call out positive attributes about someone across different areas of our lives.

To a friend

• Spending time with you always rejuvenates me and makes me feel great.
• You have such a contagious and joyful laugh.
• I’m so proud of you for taking that big idea on.
• You are such a fun and energetic person to be around.
• Thank you for being such a great listener.

To a coworker

• You are so incredibly well-spoken.
• Your support and involvement in this team makes a big difference.
• I admire your accountability and attentiveness to our project or meetings.
• I genuinely enjoy working with you on a routine basis.
• Your knowledge and expertise on this topic is incredibly helpful.

To a stranger

• You look absolutely radiant today.
• You have such a kind smile.
• You look like you’re having an amazing day.
• You just made my day.
• Thank you so much for helping me with that.

To your family

• I admire how strong you are.
• Thank you for always being there for me and supporting me.
• I love spending time with you.
• You’re an important person in my life.
• Thank you for always making a point to reach out and say hello.

To your partner

• You inspire me everyday.
• I feel like I can always be my authentic self around you.
• I love the life we are building together and that we both get to be a part of it.
• I noticed how hard you worked on that and it turned out incredible.
• Spending time with you is always my favorite. I love it when we get to ________.

To yourself

• The world is a better place with you in it.
• You have a gift for _________.
• I love your willingness to try new things.
• You’re always learning and always growing and I really admire that about you.
• I love the way your mind works.

Final Thoughts

It might sound cheesy, but reworking ourselves to speak up on the things we admire about others is important. You never know what others are experiencing or what reservations they had about taking something on and your words could be the additional driver that keeps them going.

It’s also important to remember to accept compliments when they’re given to you and to do so graciously. “Thank you so much! That was so thoughtful of you to say.” “I really appreciate you saying that, thank you.” These are ways we can recognize when we’re being complimented and accept it as part of our own truth without needing to dismiss or downplay when others speak positively about us.

This year has been tough for all of us. Let’s work on building others and making others feel like they’re important.